Friday, May 7, 2010

What If...

Today, my mom would have turned 58 years old. I wonder if, right this minute, instead of writing this, I could be driving to Denison to meet her for dinner and to spend a weekend at home. I wonder if we would have a strawberry cake from Kathleen’s Kitchen. I wonder what things we would talk about at dinner—probably things that had happened in the last week, year, all fictional history of the past 7 years… Maybe we would reminisce that it has already been almost a year since my graduation, and we would laugh about things that, in this reality, did not actually happen. I wonder what I would have gotten her for her birthday, and for Mother’s Day, a mere two days later. We would have gone to church on Sunday for Mother’s Day (a tradition I still carry, only now alone), except I would wear a red flower on my chest instead of a white one.

This weekend I will have a Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic in your honor. I will listen to songs on repeat until I drive those around me insane. I will play Backgammon. I will dance and sing without inhibition. I will roll the windows down in the car that you bought me, and I will drive without destination...Into the Mystic.

Happy Birthday Mom!

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