Friday, February 3, 2012
My beloved Bevo. It's a hard subject for me to talk about sometimes. I love him so much I feel like I'm going to burst. He's about 17 years old now, though I don't think any of us know exactly how old he is. He's been with me through everything. Besides my freshman dorm and the sorority house, he's lived with me every single place I have lived since I was 3 years old (granted, he didn't come into my life until I was about 8 or so). Sherman, Alabama, Denison, Dallas, Austin, then Dallas again. He's been everywhere.
Isn't that crazy? He's been in my life since I was EIGHT (about) years old. I am now TWENTY FIVE years old. He is my constant. He's been in my life longer than my mother was. He lives with me now, in the 500 square foot efficiency apartment where I live by myself. My once FAT little cat now has a thyroid issue that requires me to give him two pills a day to help him gain weight. The condition also makes him EXTRA vocal, which is sometimes hard to deal with at 4am.
I was snuggling with him, giving him kisses, smelling him, and telling him how much I love him. I love the way he smells. I realized I need to write about him. About how it is now. Right now. For the past several years (even since 2005), I've been trying to prepare myself for what is bound to happen. Eventually. I just can't talk about it. I can't think about it. I can't.
I know it seems a little crazy, but I know he loves me unconditionally as well. We will actually sleep side-by-side sometimes, his little paw on top of my hand, all night, even without my provocation. It makes my heart melt every single time.
For now, I want to love him every day. Cherish him. The little white clover-shape on his black face. His little beauty mark on the left side of his nose. And I love knowing that mom once loved him too. Mom once petted him, fed him, called his name, told him she loved him.
I remember when I pulled him from the bushes of 2309 Ridgewood in Sherman, TX. He was a black and white puff ball covered in burrs.
"Mommy, can we keep him?"
"YES OF COURSE WE CAN"
As we cleaned him off, still then a normal little baby kitten, I had no idea what an impact he would be in my life.
Beaver Jones, I love you so much, you smell amazing :) You have always been there for me, and I don't know what I'll do without you.
This post actually interrupted me watching a Ryan Gosling movie, and I can't seem to bring myself to start watching it again. We have to cherish what we have, especially when we have it. So, for now, Ryan Gosling can wait. I need to snuggle with my Bevo.